Grief

Posted on September 22, 2012 at 7:32 pm by heatherscherer No Comment

Today I attended a celebration of life for a young woman who was in my youth group for the last five years. She was a senior student at Jenks High School and was seventeen years old. Her nickname is Ande. I could list all the accomplishments that she had but I would rather just say that she was my friend. I would tease her that she looked like a member of my family because she was tall and thin. I loved that she wore high heels instead of flats with wisdom and confidence. I wish that I had been that smart and confident in high school. She had a scar from her multiple heart surgeries that she refused to be ashamed of or hide. It was as if she wore it with pride because every surgery had helped prolong her life. You see, statistically I learned that she should not have lived even a year with her heart problems. But what I loved about Ande was her willingness to love so completely. When my son was a new student, she was the first person to befriend him. She was the first person to invite him to a social event. And in the last few days I have heard that same story over and over again from other students. I feel blessed to have known her, to have held her in my arms when she cried, to have laughed with her so hard that I cried! She shared her testimony with our youth group last spring and talked about all the ways God had loved her and cared for and she taught us all something about ourselves and our constant ability to overlook the miracles in our lives. My heart breaks for her parents and their grief because I can not even imagine how it must feel to lose Ande, their constant miracle. I give thanks that she graced our lives for so long and that she is healed from her constant struggle for life. But all that said, I hate that she is gone and I want her back. I miss her already and I keep thinking that I will see her. I am mad that she is gone and I know that is all completely normal stages of grief that I am experiencing. It will take a long time for those of us who knew this beautiful, bright girl to come to terms with her loss. She will be greatly missed. Facebooktwitterby feather

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